Child Care

Finding the right child care provider for your child or children can be a tough situation. You want the best for your children and a care provider that can offer a safe, loving and nurturing environment for your family. Sending your child to a day care can be a stressful situation because you want to know that your child is safe, and in an environment that fosters learning and positive growth. A professional child care service will provide safety for your child, a learning environment to nurture their young minds, and a clean facility to minimize the chances injuries and illnesses. There are a lot of things to consider when it comes to the well being of your children so it is important to make sure you are making the most informed decisions about the well being of your child.
When selecting a day care for your family you want to choose the facility that has the most to offer. You want to select a place that a productive and healthy atmosphere to nurture creativity, growth and knowledge in your child. The best schools will offer a list of programs that will engage your child and provide a fun learning environment. Also you want to be sure that the best educators are hired and accredited. Whether your child is an infant, toddler, preschooler or school age there should be a program and facility for whatever your child's needs are.
If you have questions or concerns about where to send your children for child care you are not alone. It is a big step for both parents and children and not one that should be considered lightly. You need to know that your children are safe and that all of their needs are being met. A child care provider or day care should ensure safety, cleanliness, foster learning and creativity, and successfully provide care for your children. When you know your child is being taken care of you can relax and know that your child is happy and safe. Finding reviews online from other parents or talking to friends and neighbors is a great way to search out a great facility. You also may want to take a tour of the facility and meet with program directors and teachers to discuss all of your needs. You also want to be sure the facility or center you are choosing is insured and accredited.

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Engaging Young People in Family Planning

To engage young people in family planning requires thought. When hormones are running high and the transition from child to adult is taking place many young people are looking for someone to love and to love them. They are entering a world without understanding the rules if they have not been given the tools necessary to deal with it. How this is done depends on whereabouts in the world you are trying to achieve this. Levels of education vary and local culture has a powerful control on what children can be taught.
The education of girls and women invariably improves the lot of any community. This happens because females share knowledge, invest in their families and teach their children. Knowledge is power and when the girls and women understand how to practice family planning they will use it. Sometimes this necessary information must be cleared by the village elders before the young women can be approached.
In the past, when people lived in the country, sex and reproduction was understood because it was freely demonstrated by the animals they kept. In the modern world when most families have no contact with agriculture this is more difficult. Early teaching, at an appropriate level for the age and development of the child, can counter this. Simple things like the physical differences between boys and girls and an openness about the human body and it's functions is a way to start. Some children in the West grow up so protected they have no idea about the other gender. Boys do not learn about periods and girls do not realize how strong the sex drive is with most males. All of these details are important elements in teaching young people about reproduction and it's prevention.
Many young men do not consider the implications of their sexual actions because of the power of the reproductive drive. To approach them with this subject, an appeal to their selfishness might work. When they recognize the need for condoms, and protective sex to avoid AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases they will have a better idea of protecting themselves. Also replacing the myths that many young men grow up with, because they get their information from friends rather than someone who knows, is important. The South African myth that sex with a virgin cures AIDS is one.
A difficulty in engaging young people in family planning is the embarrassment many adults have about explaining the subject. Because it is an intensely private activity and evokes very strong responses it is tricky trying to discuss this with a youngster who thinks you are over the hill and don't understand anything. Again, if the adult has not had positive experiences with sex it can be hard not to be negative about the information they offer.
Family planning is in the interests of everyone. It can only work when we inform young people.

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What Can I Do to Communicate Better With My Teenager?

At its core connecting with a teenager isn't much different than connecting with an adult with a few exceptions. Adolescents want what anyone else would want, someone to listen, really listen. So what can you do to communicate better with your teenager? First, you need to know that listening is primarily a non-verbal task the experts say about 65% of what you "say" is conveyed with your non-verbals (Birdwhistell, 1970 as cited by Sommers-Flanagan & Sommers-Flanagan, 2003). Second, when your non-verbal communication doesn't match your words people will usually go with what your non-verbals said!
So how are you at "communicating" with your teenager?
Eye Contact
Let's take a look at your non-verbals. First; eye contact. Teenagers are notorious for their use of eye contact in communicating and generally speaking its not rocket science. Teenagers, like most folks in the Western world, will avoid eye contact when they are uncomfortable. As parents this can be really uncomfortable because we are used to our kids looking at us when we talk simply because when they were a kid we demanded it and they gave it to us at times out of sheer terror. However, during adolescence you may have to spend some time earning the eye contact. Once obtained you can communicate just how important they are to you by maintaining good eye contact. It is one of the simplest ways you can tell them you love them, that they truly do matter to you, and that you genuinely care about what is about to come out of their mouth!
Body Language
Next, let's consider your body language. For many families today communication is done on the fly; in the car, on the way to an event, and even now through text massaging (a topic for another day). However, no matter the context, body language counts. In speaking with your teenager you will want to let them know that you care by leaning forward, maintaining a relaxed comfortable position, sitting still, removing as many obstacles as you can, and when possible move towards them. Nothing says "I don't really care" like person who is constantly moving, not making good eye contact, and doesn't take the time to stop doing whatever activity they are engaged in at the time and focus on what the other person is saying. Of course everyone is guilty of this from time to time and Lord knows your adolescent will do it at least 3 times before breakfast, however taking the time stop and physically listen can may a world of difference.
Voice
Vocal qualities also play a significant role in how you communicate with your teen. I often hear teenagers say "its not what you said but how you said it." The experts say that voice volume, pitch, rate, and fluency all make a difference in communication (Sommers-Flanagan & Sommers-Flanagan, 2003). Parents who wish to connect with their teens will need to be very aware of "how" they communicate. A harsh tone, a short answer, or escalating volume can lead to mis-communication and damaged relationships. Your teenager is very aware of your vocal qualities as a parent because they have been with you now for a very long time. They can tell when you are upset and know that many times when you say "I understand" that you really don't based on "how" you said it. Using a soft tone when speaking with your teen may encourage them to become more relaxed and vulnerable where as speaking fast and louder can help to communicate credibility (Cialdini, 1991, as cited by Sommers-Flanagan & Sommer-Flanagan, 2003). Your voice qualities matter and can play a big part in your teen feeling like you are listening and can be trusted.
Reflective Statements
Finally, it is vitally important as a parent of an teenager that you learn how to reflect what your adolescent is saying to you. Nothing does more to develop a sense of trust and communicate that you heard what they said than a good ol' fashioned reflective statement. Restating or attempting to summarize what your adolescent just said can be as easy as saying "Son, what I heard you say was..." or "sounds like you are really feeling..." and leave it at that. Effectively listening does not include stories from when you were a child, advice or long drawn out monologues about why they shouldn't feel that way. You wouldn't want someone doing that to you, would you?
There will be time for advice and instruction, but only after you listen. Listening is how you earn the right to advise and instruct. This may be one of the single greatest hurdles for parents with children moving into adolescents. When your child was little, you barked out orders and they followed, you were allowed (as I so often do) to pontificate about my personal interest and ideas. Listening often wasn't required nor necessary, however it is vital to your relationship with your teen and the use of a reflective statement will go along way in developing trust and helping you connect with your teenager.

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Factors That Influence Teen's First Sexual Intercourse Experience

According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute (1988), 22% of females and 27% of females have had sexual intercourse by age fifteen, and 76% of females and 85% of males by age nineteen. My more recent (2008) surveys of teens, for my published book, indicated a lower percentage rate for first intercourse experience for both males and females, in spite of the prevailing opinion that today's teens are out of control. It is also noted that there are decreased rates of teen pregnancies over the last twenty years. The National Center for Health Statistics (2005), reported that the teen birth rate in 1991 was 39 births per 1,000 teens and the current report down to 21 per 1,000 teens, with a 63% increase of teens using condoms.
There are many factors linked to when teens will have a first intercourse experience: peer influences, gender, race, drug and alcohol involvement, parental influence, socio-economic status, level of educational achievement and educational aspirations, and community standards, to name a few. Below are some findings that relate to this occurence.

• Poor academic performance by grade four predicted sexual activity by grade nine.
• When parents know where their teens were and who they were with (parental monitoring), it appeared effective in delaying sex, especially for younger teens.
• Dropping out of school significantly increased the likelihood of first time intercourse for both males and females.
• Females with increasing years of educational attainment, delay the age of first sexual intercourse, with an estimate that for each additional year of school achievement, sexual activity is delayed by.75 years.
• Teens, of both sexes, who aspired to high educational goals, as opposed to those with low educational goals, delayed sex. Perhaps having goals assists the goal seeker to pause and consider the potential risks that sexual acting-out may cause, and sabotage their goals.
• Studies indicate that parents with higher educational levels had children who demonstrate lower levels of sexual activity, and those children aspire to higher educational goals, and as indicated above, they tend to delay sexual activity.
• Researchers found that 50% of teens with no reported college plans were sexually active, compared to 29% among those with college plans and 13% who desire graduate school.
• Teens who engage in problem behaviors (drugs, alcohol, and delinquency) develop a mind-set that reduces the restraints from violating community standards and norms. This mind-set decreases the value of educational goals and leads to earlier sexual activity.
• Lastly, race consistently has been identified as a prominent variable in teen sexual activity. Black females were four times more likely white females to engage in sexual intercourse and black males twice as likely as white males to have sexual activity. The possible explanation offered by researchers is that blacks view fewer employment and educational opportunities and, thus, perceive the loss of those opportunities less. Therefore, unplanned pregnancies may be perceived as less serious, because educational and employment goals are viewed as restricted.
• These are just some of the variables that may influence teen sexual behaviors. There are other factors such as intelligence levels, going steady, religious beliefs and involvement in school activities that are indicators for teens.

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Seatbelt Safety for Family and Children

Everyone knows that seat belts save lives, and the "Click It or Ticket" campaign has helped to decrease unrestrained (without the use of a seat belt) fatalities since 2005 by raising awareness about the importance of seat belt use. But are you getting the most available protection from your seat belt, and are you sure that you're using your children's car seats and booster seats correctly?
How important is seat belt use?
The statistics tell the tale: Lap and shoulder belts reduce the risk of fatal injury by 45 percent for occupants of the front seat - the most dangerous place to be in a passenger vehicle, as most accidents are head-on. For light trucks, lap and shoulder belts reduce the risk of fatal injury even more, by 60 percent.
Physics are the reason that seat belts are so effective: When you wear your seat belt, you're effectively attached to the car - so when the car stops, you stop. Without that restraint, your body stays in motion until something stops it, namely the steering wheel, dashboard or windshield. That's why injuries are so much worse in unrestrained accidents: At speeds as low as 35 mph, knees or wrists can break easily - even if the airbag deploys.
How to wear a seat belt - the right way:

• Move the seat as far back from the steering wheel as possible.
• Make sure the belt lies flat - a twisted belt means much less surface area to absorb the force of the crash.
• Fit the belt across your hips, not your belly.
• Ensure that the shoulder strap crosses your collarbone.
• Tighten the belt after it is buckled.

Pregnant women often receive mixed messages about whether to use seat belts because of the harm that they might do to an unborn baby in a crash. But pregnant women who are involved in unrestrained car accidents are much more likely to lose their babies than those who are strapped in correctly. When you are pregnant:

• Wear the seat belt across the top of your thighs, not across your belly.
• Move the seat back from the steering wheel as much as possible, with the steering wheel at least 10 inches from your chest.
• The shoulder belt should still be worn correctly over your shoulder as usual.

Infant seats and booster seats
Using the proper restraints with infants and children is crucial for their survival in an accident:

• Children ages 12 and under should always ride in the back seat - especially babies: An airbag can kill a baby in a rear-facing car seat.
• Babies should ride in rear-facing infant seats until they reach age one and weigh at least 20 pounds. After that, they can ride forward-facing in a convertible car seat with a five-point harness until they weigh 40 pounds (around age 2 or 3).
• Toddlers and children weighing between 40 and 80 pounds should use a belt-positioning booster seat along with the regular shoulder and lap belt.
• Use your baby's car seat correctly! Read the manual, pull up on the belt to tighten it once it is strapped in, and make sure the seat doesn't move. For a free car seat inspection, call your local hospital or police station.

Even if you find yourself without a booster seat for your child, still use the seat belt - it's much better than nothing. But never use one seat belt for two children, which can injure both; and never buckle yourself in and hold your baby on your lap - a crash will make the baby fly out of your hands.
Seat belt use on the rise
The Click it or Ticket campaign reports that since the program began in 2005:

• 20 percent fewer children die each year from car accidents.
• Child restraint use has risen from 88 percent to 99 percent.
• Toddler restraint use has risen from 60 percent to 94 percent - an amazing increase.
• Adult seat belt use is at an all-time high of 79 percent.

And the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) reports a slight decrease in unrestrained fatalities, from 59 percent in 2002 to 55 percent in 2006. But just one unrestrained fatality is one too many. Make sure that you, your relatives, friends and passengers always buckle up!

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