Top 5 Tips Fraudulent Adoption Schemes

When couples are hoping and waiting to adopt, they may be presented with a variety of situations to consider, especially when they are screening the situations themselves. Unfortunately, they are often easy prey for unscrupulous people eager to take advantage of the couples' hopefulness in adoption.
The best way to protect yourself from fraudulent adoption schemes is to work with an adoption professional who can screen potential adoption situations with a level head and without the same hopeful emotions that "this may be the one" that is common in adoption. This is valuable because a professional can ask questions as a third party and will be better able to probe further into questionable answers without fear of making the birth parent hang up the phone.
For families who may not have a professional who can do this, learning about the most common fraudulent adoption situations offered and the motivation behind them is a vital key to keeping themselves safe. The top 5 adoption frauds I have seen firsthand are:

• Adoption Situations from Cameroon or Other African Nation. Often these will come via email and will appear to be from a priest or pastor, a family member, or even an orphanage. They involve a young child who's mother has reportedly perished. Like other internet scams, the English is usually not American English and the situation is dire and heartbreaking.
• Twins, Triplets, or More! For most couples hoping to adopt, multiples are very attractive. Families think that they will just have to do this one adoption and they will be done building their family. That fact is what renders this a common and effective adoption fraud. Couples might think that it is "worth the risk" because it just may work out. Twin adoptions do happen, but it is not worth overlooking potential red flags just because of the hope.
• Needing Money NOW. This fraud involves a caller usually who needs money for immediate needs, like a hotel, an airplane or bus ticket, or any other type of expense. The underlying threat is that if you don't pay it, she will call a different family to adopt her baby.
• A Very Attractive Situation for a Specific Price. Sometimes adoption situations will be advertised with a price tag, and usually these situations are what many consider attractive. Beware! While these may go through, often they are a result of "stacked fees", where various advertisers, agencies, attorneys, and others may add their own fee to market a situation. The concern is that if the situation doesn't go through or is awarded to a different family, a portion of your money will not be refunded and you will not have any further hope of adopting via these professionals because your fee was for the specific situation. If the professional will continue to work with you, that's great but keep in mind that you likely will be working with an adoption professional that you didn't choose thoughtfully but are "stuck with" because they have your money for the failed situation.
• Low Fee to Present You to a Specific Birth Parent. This used to be quite common... A number of families pay $50 to $500 to someone to present them, along with other families, to a birth parent. Whether or not the birth parent picks them doesn't really matter, the person collecting the money has made a tidy sum of money! Avoid these situations.

Adoption happens every day in the U.S., but it is vital to protect your heart, your wallet, and your family while in the process. If you have any of these "opportunities" come your way, proceed with extreme caution and ask an adoption professional to assist you in exploring whether or not the situation is truly a good potential for a successful adoption.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6372023

Home Study Questions for Foster Care

You decide you want to be a foster parent. You attend classes. You do the background check. Then comes the home study process. The home study process for foster care can be long and very intrusive. Keep in mind there is a good reason for the extensive background check and home study. If you do so, you will be less stressed by it. It depends upon the agency, but you can expect your home study interview to last several hours over the course of several days. The following are some topics and questions which will likely be raised of you and your significant other:
Topic Number One: Your Background
You will have an extensive background check including, but not limited to:

1. FBI fingerprints
2. Employment background for at least 10 years
3. A letter from your employer and possibly past employers
4. Letters of recommendation
5. Credit check
6. Physical and prior medical history including hospitalizations and mental health counseling
7. Statement of financial responsibility which can include pay stubs, IRS records, bank account statements and budget planning. You don't have to be wealthy but you have to prove that you can be financially responsible for a child independent of foster care payments.

Topic Number Two: Why do you want to be a foster parent and are you prepared for the implications of foster care?
Possible Questions include:

1. Why do you want to adopt?
2. Fertility, if applicable: have you resolved any infertility issues? Have you grieved sufficiently over your ability to conceive? What will happen if you are in the middle of fostering a child (or possibly adopting) and you conceive?
3. How do you see being a foster parent changing your life? Are you prepared for those changes?
4. Tell us about your strengths and weaknesses.
5. What would other people say about your ability to parent?
6. What sort of support system do you have in place? Are they open to the foster care process?
7. Are you willing to foster children with special needs or placement considerations? Examples include: minority race, drug-exposed or addicted children, sibling groups, older children, and children with autism or mental retardation.

Topic Number Three: Your Childhood
Possible questions include:

1. Tell me about your childhood.
2. Describe your parents' relationship.
3. How did your parents discipline you and your siblings? What would you do the same as your parents and what would you do differently?
4. If you had trauma in your childhood, how did you overcome it or is it still affecting your life today?

Topic Number Four: Your Current and Past Relationships, including your own children, if applicable.
Tell us about your current (and past) relationships. On the home study application you can expect you will need to list all previous significant relationships, what they were like and how they dissolved. In the interview you might be asked further questions for clarification. You will be asked about your own children and how they will react to you becoming a foster parent. They might even interview your children.
Topic Number Five: You're Parenting Practices

1. Tell us about your strengths and weaknesses.
2. What would other people say about your ability to parent?
3. How will you bond with a foster child?
4. How will you deal with visits?
5. Do you plan to use a Life Book with your foster placements? How do you see yourself involved in this process?
6. When the child leaves your home and is reunited, how will you feel?
7. How will you discipline your children?

This is your opportunity to stress that you will care about the child unconditionally. Stress that if you encounter problems you are willing to seek professional help to resolve them. The most important thing is that you be honest. Intentionally withholding or falsifying information on a home study is grounds for prosecution. Home study worker(s) are most concerned about your ability to parent, not whether have a "perfect" life. They want to see that you have had problems and can overcome them.

Kristin Whiting is an adoptive Mom, Special Needs Preschool Teacher, and a regular contributor to Associated Content, Ezine, Squidoo and Hubpages. She has varied interests in such topics as family life, domestic adoption, foster parenting, healthcare, education, working with children who have special needs, social issues and parenting.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6379696

Common Problems Adopted Children Face

The day you bring home your child, after all adoption procedures are finalized, is sure to be one of the happiest in your life. The day represents a completion and growth in your family, but you will also find it a period of adjustment, too. Regardless of whether your child has come to you as an infant or long out of diapers, you are likely to experience a variety of behavioral and environmental issues. This is to be expected - parenthood isn't easy. If you are a first-time parent of an adoptive child, though, it will benefit you to keep an eye out for the more common conflicts.
1) Questioning Parental Authority - As your child grows, he/she will naturally test wings and push envelopes. During the course of a disagreement you may hear something along the lines of "You're not my real mother/father, who are you to tell me what to do?" Hurtful words, yes, though what parent hasn't had to deal with this level of rebellion at one point in our lives. Certainly we didn't make it easy for our parents back in the day!
To challenge the "you're not my parent assertion, it is important to let your child know that you are indeed his/her mother or father, and that although your child was not born into the family, he/she is nonetheless a very important part of it.
2) Taking Advantage of Lax Discipline - If the child you've brought into your home is your only child, and you are physically unable to conceive, you may risk a mindset that makes you reluctant to be firm when your son or daughter misbehaves. You don't want to "jinx things," perhaps, but if you remain lax as a parent your child is likely to take advantage of the situation.
Know this: your child is your child, whether adopted or born to you. Don't be afraid to put your foot down and be a true parent who knows what is best.
3) Social Stigmas - Once in school, your child may experience social conflicts with others who make light of his/her adoption. There is a chance, too, that your son or daughter may feel jealous of friends who live with their birth parents, or have blood siblings. It's important during this time to let your child know he/she is always loved at home, and that there are many ways to define a family.
Problems adopted children face as they grow aren't always different from those of other kids, but as a parent it's important to watch for signs that your child is bothered or perceptive of issues around the home.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6389247

Birthmom Question and Answer

Have you ever wondered how a birthmother gets to be a birthmom? I mean, it's not like she plans from her early childhood to be one when she grows up. This is certainly not something a young woman strives to be. What is it like? How does she live with herself? Here are answers to five of the most commonly asked questions.
First of all, yes. Placing a child that you carried and birthed with someone else to raise is sad and hard and difficult and forever. This isn't one of those decisions that you can go back and change your mind on in two months or five years. It's forever. In my case of closed adoption, that meant I would possibly go through the rest of my life never knowing anything about my daughter, never knowing what she looked like or thought about or anything.
Secondly, no, I never forgot about her. Adoption is final, yes. But it's not like I just turned the page and went on with my life. Life forced me to move on due to its linear nature, but I carried that grief and pain and shame and guilt and whatever else there was with me with every move I made. For so long I beat myself up over my poor decisions. I hated myself for my inability to care for my own child. But God poked through the clouds and showed me that He didn't hate me. He didn't blame me. In fact, He knew all along what I was going to do and He loved me anyway.
Now this next one is getting better, but I still occasionally hear people say that so-and-so 'gave her baby away'. Ok. That's not how it happened then, and that's not how it happens now. I placed my beautiful daughter with a family of my choosing. They were married, educated and had a dog. Whether or not they stayed married is not something I could control. I could only do the best I could do on the front end.
I've counseled a lot of women who have told me, to my face, that they would rather abort the child they are carrying then place him/her with a family. "How could you do that?" they will ask me. How indeed. I've had to rely on God a lot. A lot more than I thought I would. I'm strong, but there's a limit.
Finally, the question "Does it ever get easier?" The answer is an emphatic no. It never gets easier. In fact, it seems like for me the opposite has been true. It seems as the years slipped by, it got harder. My daughter's 17th birthday was incredibly difficult for me, which doesn't really make any sense since it was so far down the line. But there it was. And I was a wreck.
And after our first child was born. That was a hard time, too, because I kept thinking "I totally could have handled being a mother".
So there is some food for thought. Next time you encounter a birthmother, have some compassion on her. Even if her exterior is hardened remember she is most likely hurting on the inside.

Birthmother and family therapist Terri Gake has been sharing her story of unplanned pregnancy and adoption for over 10 years. Formerly on staff at two different pregnancy resource centers, she has written articles for their newsletters as well as At the Center magazine and AAMFT's Family Therapy Magazine.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6392087

Adoption: There's Rarely a Perfect Time

Everyone has high hopes for a perfect life... From landing the perfect job to finding and marrying the perfect mate to choosing the perfect time to have a child. Everyone has "their perfect plan." However, real life rarely matches our expectations of perfection. Sometimes things do go just as we hoped, but when they don't, we need to be prepared to alter not only our perfect plan, but also our expectations of what a perfect life means to us. Living life to the fullest means making adjustments along the way as we follow God's plans. I see this often in regards couples and their plans to build a family.
Couples often realize at some point in their lives they want to share their love with a child, however they often seem to desire to hold off until the "perfect time." They decide to begin their family after careers are established, bills paid off, the purchase of a dream home, or other conditions met or goals achieved. They work diligently to create the life they see as ideal, with no thought that each day they put off starting a family, they are getting a little older and conceiving may be a little more difficult. Often the "perfect time" arrives after days turn into months, and months into years, and they are beginning to feel the pressure of age in addition to the desire to become parents.
For many couples, one of the biggest blows to their "plan" happens when they find out that they cannot conceive a child naturally. They may explore fertility treatments, cry out to God, and explore their lives to confirm that a family is truly what they want. This is often when adoption becomes a real option for them. However, the issue that many face is when to make that adoption happen.
Adopting a child should not be dictated by some magical formula or moment. It should be directed by your desire to build your family because for many, that's what life is about...personal growth for themselves and those that they love. This is especially true when it comes to the challenges and rewards of raising a child.
If you are at a point in your life when you no longer want to miss out on the many amazing opportunities that you could be having with a child of your own, you should begin the adoption process. You have so much to offer a child and that child, no doubt, will have just as much to offer you. Even though the time may not be absolutely perfect or your home may not be absolutely perfect, none of that will matter once your child is home.
To learn more about adoption, contact an adoption counselor to discuss your options and to get the process started today! Life is about living, learning, an experiencing. It's also about love and sharing it. The lifetime that you will share with that child will be full of absolutely perfect moments and perfect love.

Mardie Caldwell is a Certified Open Adoption Practitioner, an award winning author of 5 adoption books including Called to Adoption. Mardie is also the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center. She travels and speaks nationwide on adoption topics, family topics, infertility and writing. She has been quoted in and consulted for Parenting and Adoption magazines and has appeared on CNN, CBS, ABC, BBC, NBC, and Fox.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6390521