The day you bring home your child, after all adoption procedures are finalized, is sure to be one of the happiest in your life. The day represents a completion and growth in your family, but you will also find it a period of adjustment, too. Regardless of whether your child has come to you as an infant or long out of diapers, you are likely to experience a variety of behavioral and environmental issues. This is to be expected - parenthood isn't easy. If you are a first-time parent of an adoptive child, though, it will benefit you to keep an eye out for the more common conflicts.
1) Questioning Parental Authority - As your child grows, he/she will naturally test wings and push envelopes. During the course of a disagreement you may hear something along the lines of "You're not my real mother/father, who are you to tell me what to do?" Hurtful words, yes, though what parent hasn't had to deal with this level of rebellion at one point in our lives. Certainly we didn't make it easy for our parents back in the day!
To challenge the "you're not my parent assertion, it is important to let your child know that you are indeed his/her mother or father, and that although your child was not born into the family, he/she is nonetheless a very important part of it.
2) Taking Advantage of Lax Discipline - If the child you've brought into your home is your only child, and you are physically unable to conceive, you may risk a mindset that makes you reluctant to be firm when your son or daughter misbehaves. You don't want to "jinx things," perhaps, but if you remain lax as a parent your child is likely to take advantage of the situation.
Know this: your child is your child, whether adopted or born to you. Don't be afraid to put your foot down and be a true parent who knows what is best.
3) Social Stigmas - Once in school, your child may experience social conflicts with others who make light of his/her adoption. There is a chance, too, that your son or daughter may feel jealous of friends who live with their birth parents, or have blood siblings. It's important during this time to let your child know he/she is always loved at home, and that there are many ways to define a family.
Problems adopted children face as they grow aren't always different from those of other kids, but as a parent it's important to watch for signs that your child is bothered or perceptive of issues around the home.
1) Questioning Parental Authority - As your child grows, he/she will naturally test wings and push envelopes. During the course of a disagreement you may hear something along the lines of "You're not my real mother/father, who are you to tell me what to do?" Hurtful words, yes, though what parent hasn't had to deal with this level of rebellion at one point in our lives. Certainly we didn't make it easy for our parents back in the day!
To challenge the "you're not my parent assertion, it is important to let your child know that you are indeed his/her mother or father, and that although your child was not born into the family, he/she is nonetheless a very important part of it.
2) Taking Advantage of Lax Discipline - If the child you've brought into your home is your only child, and you are physically unable to conceive, you may risk a mindset that makes you reluctant to be firm when your son or daughter misbehaves. You don't want to "jinx things," perhaps, but if you remain lax as a parent your child is likely to take advantage of the situation.
Know this: your child is your child, whether adopted or born to you. Don't be afraid to put your foot down and be a true parent who knows what is best.
3) Social Stigmas - Once in school, your child may experience social conflicts with others who make light of his/her adoption. There is a chance, too, that your son or daughter may feel jealous of friends who live with their birth parents, or have blood siblings. It's important during this time to let your child know he/she is always loved at home, and that there are many ways to define a family.
Problems adopted children face as they grow aren't always different from those of other kids, but as a parent it's important to watch for signs that your child is bothered or perceptive of issues around the home.
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